We all know that relationships are relevant to human existence, but one has to be in a healthy relationship to thrive. This is why it is necessary to know the characteristics a healthy relationship.
Being in a healthy relationship can actually help you thrive and achieve more in life. But if you don’t know the characteristics of a healthy relationship, you could get into a bad, unhealthy or even a high maintenance relationship.
An unhealthy relationship would make you miserable; and if you continue in such a relationship for a long time, you could become unproductive.
The characteristics of a healthy relationship.
1. It is characterized by positivity.
When a relationship is characterized by positivity then, you are in for a good start. A positive person will say positive things especially when you aren’t feeling up.
A positive person will always make you feel charged up. You feel renewed after speaking with such a friend.
A positive person tells you that you can be great, you can do it. A positive person never allows you wallow in self-pity nor encourages negativism. She never allows you to give up.
Such a friend is with you through thick and thin. Such a friend never gives up on you, she never doubts your abilities. If you have a friend that spreads positive vibes, you’ve got a keeper.
2. Brings Out the Best in You.
William Alan Ward (one of America’s most quoted authors of inspirational maxims) said:
“a true friend knows your weakness but shows you your strengths, feels your fears but fortifies your faith, sees your anxieties but frees your spirit, recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities”
Anyone that fits this description should be kept for a lifetime.
3. Supports you in times of difficult without any ulterior motive.
Some friends may actually come forth for you in difficult times only because they know they are better than you while wishing you to always be down so that they would always be indebted to them.
But they won’t be there for you the moment you are more successful than them. You don’t need such friends.
There is also another category of friends that help you when you are in need only to hold it over your head. They often use your vulnerability during your difficult time to make you be indebted to them for a lifetime. You don’t need such friends.
The type of friend you need is the one who is slow to suspect, but quick to defend.
Slow to expose but quick to shield.
Slow to belittle, but quick to appreciate.
Slow to demand, but quick to give.
Slow to provoke but quick to help.
Slow to resent, but quick to forgive.
4. Relations that Believes in Your Future.
The most important people in your life, do they understand God’s plan for you?
Do they understand your dreams and aspirations?
Are they supportive of your dreams and aspirations? Do look out for opportunities that would aid you to achieve your dreams?
Do they understand when you have to sacrifice the time they want to spend with you because you need to spend more time building your dreams?
Are they happy when you achieve a milestone and celebrate you every step of the way?
Do they encourage you not to give up on your dreams when you seem too tired to move ahead?
Do they pray for your success?
If you answered in the affirmative to 80-85% of the above questions, then you have the right support system to help you towards a greater future.
If on the contrary, you answered NO to most of these questions; then you need to talk to your loved ones. Tell them that you need their support.
If after talking to them and there is no significant change towards supporting your dreams. You may have to keep your dreams to yourself.
The get a support system, align yourself with people who have a similar outlook on life as you and cultivate a healthier friendship with these people.
5. Mutual Enjoyment and Shared Experiences
This is a very important quality that sustains a solid relationship. Both parties involved must derive joy in spending time together.
They must have a time set out to do activities that make them to be together and have fun or to sit down and chat about their life experiences.
Friends that are not together should spend time with each other over the phone and catch up. It shouldn’t be about doing what only one party loves doing. There should always be a level ground where the nobody should feel left out.
6. Mutual Respect and Understanding
Respect is one of the key pillars of a solid relationship, the other pillar being TRUST. No one likes to be disrespected.
While I was in secondary school an inscription on the wall helped me train myself to be a respectable person at all times. the inscription says “Respect is Reciprocal”
This simply means that respect is a two-way thing; you don’t disrespect someone and expect to be respected by that same person.
For any relationship to thrive, the parties involved must have mutual respect for each other.Even in a family relationship, all family member should respect each other.
Read more on respect as a key pillar of a healthy relationship here
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”
– Eleanor Roosevelt.
Check the important relationships in your life, are they characterized by mutual respect? Do you need to take action to channel it in the right direction in terms of respect?
Next on this list is TRUST. This is the second key pillar for a solid relationship. I made it last on this list because trust is a big deal for me.
Trust is the foundation and a core pillar to build any solid lasting relationship. If you need to build a SOLID HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP then you must not compromise trust.
It is important to state here that before you demand someone’s trust, you must be trustworthy. You can’t be two-faced and pretentious while you demand an honest and pure person to trust you blindly.
Trust is hard to find, but when we find that person we can willingly trust, we can be assured that our friendship is built on a solid foundation.
Read more on Trust in a relationship here.
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