In a world filled with materialism and vanity, it is very important to embrace and love yourself. How can one be able to embrace and love herself despite all her weakness, flaws and strengths? The answer is self-love.
Self-love is a survival skill that everyone should learn. One of my favourite quotes is “self-love is an act of self-preservation” My father often said that “onye chefulu onwe ya mere njo ogbugbu” meaning “whoever forgets herself has committed a mortal sin”
Do you know that the feeling of quiet desperation to “be someone else” often results in lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem and any hope that we can ever improve our situations in life?
Fears, doubts and insecurities are all around us, outside and inside of us. Sometimes it may seem like it would be easier to “just want to be someone else” as we wrap ourselves up in these negative feelings.
The grass always looks greener on the other side
The grass may appear much greener on the other side based on our perceptions and ideas. These perceptions may or may not be geared in the right direction: they are often based on our past or our current experiences. The reality is often the exact opposite and others may actually be more insecure than we are.
It could be that the person you think has everything going for her looks in the mirror and hates the way she smiles or hates how large her eyes appear when she smiles?
Have you ever considered that life may not be perfect for that tall lady that you so much admire her height; everyone else in her family is of average height and they have consistently made her to feel out of place for being too tall?
What if the messages she has heard from family, friends and loved ones have always been negative regarding a certain characteristic or feature –that you envy her for, that her self-esteem would have taken solid hits from that the negative messages she had regarding that feature.
It’s quite funny how people are envied for superficial beauty, wealth or relationships that they would be happy to trade places with others because many of them are looking at others and are thinking the same thing.
To them, you appear as the smartest person around and they wish they had the same people or conversation skills that you do. Yet you feel inadequate and wish you could stay quiet without contributing to the conversation because you probably think it cute.
“Your perception is not always the reality“
Concentrate on how to make the most of what you have
Rather than spend your life worrying about who you can’t be, or what you don’t have, concentrate on finding out how to make things better for yourself. Seek for knowledge on how to use your talents and skills.
Seek for solutions on how to be a better person. accept yourself for who you are. You can always improve your skills or learn new skills, ask someone you trust and respect, to mentor you. Ask yourself or your coach for areas they think you could improve on and how you should go about it.
Just because that’s the way “you have always been” doesn’t mean that’s the way you must always remain. Taking steps to self-improvement can open up new doors of experiences and opportunities for you. Then you can, in turn, inspire and motivate others.
Forget your past and forgive yourself
Don’t let your past mistakes to hold you down. Treat them as your past – learn lessons and move on.
Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the past and embrace yourself every day because it is the decisions you make TODAY that will determine your future not your past.
Get rid of the regrets in your conversations with yourself and with others. Focus on being a first-class citizen in your own mind.
Stop constantly comparing yourself and your life to that of others
Accept yourself for who you are, embrace your uniqueness. Improve what and where you can and stop constantly comparing yourself to others. Most of us will always be insecure at some seasons of our life; but that it shouldn’t be a constant feeling that you should nurture.
When you have mastered the art of loving yourself, you will have no reason to feel insecure. Be confident in yourself and your abilities, while constantly make effort to be the best version of yourself. Love yourselves no matter what.
Self-love begins with the act of self-acceptance. Once we achieve that, contentment will follow.
Always remember, the grass always looks greener on the other side – but it is all in your perception, not the reality
In a nutshell, concentrate on making the most out of what you have. Forget your past and forgive yourself. Stop constantly comparing yourself and your life to that of others.