As women, we have so many decisions to make daily, but there are very important decisions every woman must make carefully. These are life-changing decisions.
Because if we make these decisions carelessly without due consideration, it could mare our destiny.
Some time last week, I made a post on how your life is controlled by your decisions and the choices you make every day. These important life-changing decisions can make or mare a woman.
On this post, I also explained why you have to be the one making very important decisions for your life and how to go about it.
Even though there are lots of decisions we make daily such as what to have for breakfast or which shirt to wear for work. These types of decisions may not actually determine the course of our life.
Important decisions every woman must make
1. Your Dreams and Goals
Having a dream and setting SMART goals on how to achieve your life dream is a crucial decision you should make in life.
A dream is something to strive for, to live for; it is an inspiring picture of the future that energizes your mind, will and emotions, empowering you to do everything you can to achieve it.
A life without dreams and aspirations is not worth living. You need to have a list of your life dreams you can refer to from time to time.
If you don’t have a list you refer to often, you will melt into the mediocrity of basic existence.
DON’T JUST EXIST, LIVE!
Don’t allow anyone define what your dreams should be or even discourage you from dreaming, especially your loved one.
Beware of bits of advice that are shrouded under the basis that it is for your best interest not to dream too big such are often times with an undertone of envy, jealousy and insecurity.
Your dreams and aspirations should be yours, not that which others set for you.
2. To Marry and Who to Marry
It is unfortunate that a lot of women allow their parents, siblings, pastors, and friends to convince them against their better judgement to marry someone that their heart does not accept.
Someone that their heart screams the wrong guy. Yet this all-important decision is left for others to make by some women.
The truth is that you are the one that will live with the guy, not your advisers. If the chips are down, you will be the one that will bear the consequences – ugly or bad.
3. To Date and Who to Date
The decision to have a boyfriend should be one you should make and not the one you will be pressured into.
You don’t have to prove you are not into women or that you can also get a guy to fall for you or that you do not hate men to anyone.
Stay focused and know what you want at every stage of your life. If it is because of your commitment to God that you do not want to defile yourself until marriage, stick to your commitment.
If it is because you need to stay focused and build your career path, then, by all means, don’t lose your focus.
If it is because you want to get a good grade in school and don’t need such distractions to keep you from your goal. Stay focused and don’t be pressured to do something against your will and better judgement.
If you choose to have a boyfriend, you should also know what kind of relationship you want to have with such a person; and how the relationship should go.
These decisions should only make after a careful thought on how it would impact your life.
4. Your Fashion Style
Women are controlled at every turn, scrutinized and judged for everything. Bearing this fact in mind, you shouldn’t be pressured into what fashion style others think should suit you.
You have to realize that you will never please everyone. Just do what suits your personality and what makes you comfortable. You must not follow the trend.
If don’t want to put on trousers and don’t feel the need to own one, then don’t. If you do not feel the need to own a skirt then don’t. if you cant carve the perfect eyebrow, don’t feel pressured to wear the trending eyebrow.
I have always believed that every woman should just do what is best for her and what pleases her God. You need to have a relationship with your God to be able to hear Him and do His will – if you don’t know where to start; start by reading this blog and downloading this app.
5. When To have a Baby
Not every woman wants to get pregnant immediately after marriage. This is a fact, a lot of people have refused to accept.
and if you happen to be one of such women, you have to discuss this with your future partner before getting married.
You may want to wait a few years to achieve certain things and put your life and family in order before the kids start coming and that is a good approach.
A lot of people won’t get you, the society might scorn your choice. But remember, that it is you that will carry the pregnancy and bear the challenges that will come with it;, no one else.
So you have to consider if you are psychologically, financially, medically and emotionally prepared to bear the responsibility that comes with having a baby.
6. To have Another Baby
I have noticed a trend in Nigeria and its disheartening for me. First, you will be pressured to get married. Then, you will be pressured to give birth. Then its the pressure to take in again even before the first child starts talking.
I often answer when asked to advise single women on what I didn’t know before married. I always have only two advise.
1. Don’t marry to please anybody or to make them stop disturbing you. The fact is that they will NOT ALLOW YOU TO REST, so saying “let me get married so that they will stop disturbing me” is out of the question.
2. Do not allow others to define you and how you should run your home.
I learnt this lesson the hard way and I wish I knew better. Because I gave away my right to make decisions to others. They used it to my own detriment. That is exactly what will happen to you if you give away your right to make decisions to others.
If your family is struggling financially, or you are having problems with your spouse, a baby will not make everything right. It will aggravate it.
Build your career and pursue your dreams if that will make you a better person and improve your finances.
There are family planning options available in health centres and hospitals all over Nigeria, walk in there and talk to them about child spacing options.
The health centres charge next to nothing to render these services, so money should not be a barrier. It is your body, and it is your job to take care of it very well.
Unfortunately, while the rest of the world is moving ahead, my country Nigeria has refused to do same. All over the developed countries of the world, the maternal mortality rate has reduced drastically, but I cant say the same for my country.
When I was expecting my 2nd daughter, I dreaded going for health talk during the antenatal because the doctor always cites a case of a mother who died, or allowed her baby to die, or both mother and child die; because the women were insisting on having a vaginal birth against doctor’s advice.
It is tantamount to committing suicide when you know you are on the verge of death but refuse to be helped. No one should tell you otherwise.
If you feel you cant bear the pain of labour opt to be given an epidural or any other pain reliver that may be available at the bithing centere.
If your docter recommends a Cesearen for you, plan and go for it, if you are ill and know you can’t go through the excrutiating pain of labour, opt for a ceaseran.
You have successfully carried your baby to full term, dont turn those months into nothinhgness by going empty-handed by killing your own child. It is your decision mostly because, it is your life on the line.
8. To be a Double Standard Christian or A True Christian
And Jesus told the sameritan Woman ” time will come and it has come when those that will worship God will worship him in truth and in spirit” These are true worshipers.
We live in a world where being a born-again Christian is hype. When hypocrysy is celebrated and people are shushed for daring to call out the bad eggs.
But I know that these things were bound to happen. Devil have become sophisticated with his tricks. Who you are in Christ is known to only you and God himself.
To make this decison to be a true christian and stand by it and live by it may requre a lot of sacrifice on your path, but that is the life we called unto as christians. Christ sacrificed so much just to pay the price for our sin. We should learn from him.
Joshua told the Isrealites to “choose who they will serve” , so you make this decison because on the last day, nobody will answer for you, not your father, not youe mother, not your husband, not your children not even your pastor or unit head.
To please your Family and Friends to your own detriment
We live in a culture, that expectes you to sacrifice yourself to please others and then get others to give up ther dreams and aspirations and fulful our unfulfilled dreams that we sacrificed in order to please our family. The question is a generation have to brak this trend if not,the unheathy cycle wil continue and we end up having a clan of unful
To go for a birth control plan or not to
Your Sex Life and How Sexually active you want to be
To be a virgin till you choose to break it either through marriage or personal choice or to be manipulated into doing what you aren’t psychologically prepared for, or just to join the bandwagon.
Your relationship with your creator
To remain in bad relationship or to leave
To remain in an abusive relationship or to leave such a relationship
To be a homemaker or a career woman
To love all your children
We are familiar tequally or to Have Favourites
equally or to Have Favourites
To be a financially independent woman or not to be.
To be great or not to be great.
Type of life you will give to your children
Should you get a domestic help for your family or not.
Your best friend and your circle of girlfriends.
These are just a few. I would love to hear from you. Comment on more life-changing decisions that women make daily that could make or mare their life.
Where to live
Who to date
Where to invest your money
Get married or not to
Have children or not
Define your deal breakers (for anything) or know when to end a toxic relationship