RELATIONSHIPS,  Self-improvement


Today is International Women’s Day. I celebrate myself and all women today. As we celebrate today my message to women as we celebrate IWD2018.

My plea and a message to all women- let us support each other. Let us stop tearing ourselves up.

Women, we all have opinions and beliefs we are so passionate about; especially when it has to do with our roles as wives and mothers.  We are always arguing in favour of or against so many issues

to immunize or not immunize our babies,

vaginal childbirth or caesarean section;

Home cooked meals or takeout/restaurant meal for dinner;

natural childbirth or epidural;

breastfeeding or bottle feeding;

change or surname or not;

being a stay at home mom or not;

We are notorious for claiming “team this” or “team that”

Common ladies, we are all in this battle of life together trying to figure it out on how to be the perfect daughter, sister, mom, wife, friend.

Yet often times we get so consumed by our passion to prove we are the best or that our belief is the best and soon we think others need to believe the way we do.

We tend to often shove our opinions down the throat of other women outrightly, condemning their methods and beliefs.

Today is International Women’s Day. I celebrate myself and all women today. As we celebrate today my message to women as we celebrate IWD2018.

My plea and a message to all women- let us support each other. Let us stop tearing ourselves up

What if we quit shoving our self-righteous opinions down every woman’s throat. Why don’t we stop giving unsolicited advice to other women to make ourselves look good and simply keep our thoughts to ourselves?

Social media often makes this tough though. We want to be included in the conversation and to be heard. We want to prove that our opinion and method is the best, so we end up tearing other women with contrary opinion apart.

But is it really worth it? Would you really feel better after putting down someone else? I doubt it. Maybe for a while but you would go back to looting yourself and you will have to seek out another victim to put down in other to make yourself feel good.

What if you choose to encourage and cheer your fellow woman up, rather than put her down and make her feel like something is lacking in her motherhood. She already has a lot on her plate to deal with why add to it?

We often forget that whatever we sow in the life of others, we shall reap in abundance in our own life.

If you encourage, you will be encouraged and if you pull other down you will reap being pulled down.

As we celebrate ourselves today, let us reflect and learn from this excerpt from Chimamanda Adichie’s book “Dear Ijeawele”.

“Teach her about difference. Make difference ordinary.Make differece normal. Teach her not to attach value to difference and the reason for this is not to be fair or nice but merely to be human and practical. Because difference is the reality of our world. And by teaching her about diferrence, you are equiping her to survive in a diverse world.

She must know and understand that people walk different paths in the world and that as long as those paths do no harm to others they are valid paths that she must respect.

Teach her that we do not know- we cannot know everything about life. Both religion and science have spaces for the things we do not know, and it is enough to make peace with that”

Teach her never to universalize her standards or experiences. Teach her that standard are for her alone, and not for othe people.

This is only necessary form of humility; the realization that differenc is normal”

If we can teach ourselves and our daughters to respect other peoples beliefs, values and standards, even when we don’t agree or understand their beliefs.

Let us tolerate and encourage ourselves instead of criticising other women.

It is not always easy, but if we understand that it is a process but it is possible if we take it one step at a time by making a conscious effort not to judge and criticize.

One thing that has helped me on this journey of being a better version of myself is this saying by Alvin Toffler in his book Future Shock.

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and re-learn”

I understand that most of us grew up with certain ideals that have made us to easily pull other women down in order to make ourselves look good. But if you want to be a better version of yourself then you need to change this pattern of pulling others down.

Change is not merely necessary to life- it is life”
– Alvin Toffler

It may not be easy to be less judgemental of other women that are different from you. But I can assure you that it is worth it.



Because we are celebrating women I am giving offering a 50% off from my book “the assertive woman in a relationship

This promo will run until 31st March 2018. So you have a chance to grab the offer now before the month ends.

Yahweh's princess, Author "The Assertive Woman in a Relationship", C.E.O. Dinspira Travels, Blogger, Serial Entrepreneur, Mom, Lover, Foodie.

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